Anyone that has suffered at the hands of a bully or a mob can tell you that self-esteem takes a major hit. Whether it is during the period of bullying or in its aftermath, targets of bullying tend to feel like shit (pardon my French). What was once a positive and forward-looking professional has been turned into a traumatized person searching for answers. The questions are hard enough to bear – not finding ready answers can be debilitating.
Most advocates that deal with workplace bullying issues tend to shy away from the term “victim” when referring to someone that has been bullied. This person is going through enough hell to have the helplessness of being a victim thrown into the equation. That is why the term “target” is preferred (at least it is by me). “Target” does not imply the sense of helplessness that “victim” does. “Target” gives the meaning that there is still a life to be lived and goals to be reached. “Target” allows the person to accept that, yes, they were targeted by a bully, but they still have options available afterward. “Victim” too often implies weakness.
Don’t get me wrong – whether a person is a target or a victim, either state of mind sucks. The first step to getting self-esteem back, however, is to take the point of view that one was targeted and that they survived the assault. Then the target can get back to the job at hand – recovery. Getting their life back is key. Whether it is in a new job or just back into life in general, the target has to take the steps they need to recover.
The following article is one I found that reinforces this point. I hope that you find some answers here in how you, too, can take the steps needed to get self-esteem back and in the process, return to a normal life (or help a loved one that is in need).
How to Boost Your Self Esteem
By: Mark Aubrey
To start with, do not take company with people who are unsupportive and critical. Abusive people can make your life very difficult and should not be tolerated. Seek out the company of stable, supportive and positive people. Don’t make friends or associate with losers. They will bring you down and leave you feeling worthless.
Take the time to give support and help to people who will appreciate your efforts and show you respect. A good way to do this is to get involved in voluntary work. There are many charities that will greatly appreciate your help and you will feel good about yourself, giving them your time.
Make an effort to keep yourself in good shape, exercise regularly. If you feel happy about the way you look, you will feel good about yourself and this will increase your confidence. If you can’t change the way you look and are not happy about it, do not judge yourself. You did not choose to be the way you are, so don’t be self critical.
Spend some time everyday, sitting in silence, allowing the way things are to be as they are without judgement, be they positive or negative. Sit with your feelings of inadequacy and discomfort, without criticism. Soon you will find a sense of acceptance and compassion arising. This will increase your well being and improve your self-esteem. Increase your knowledge and further your education. You will get great satisfaction from learning new things and achieving a higher level of education. Learn a new skill that others will appreciate, such as a second language.
Stop any negative self talk. Do not talk yourself down, whether it be within yourself or whilst conversing to others. It is very important to accept yourself and to build positive inner rapport. Work at improving your conversation skills. Being a good communicator will benefit your social status.
Take care of your appearance. If you take pride in the way you look and project a good self image others will respond well to you.
I hope you have found this article useful and it helps you to combat any low self-esteem you may have acquired.
About the Author
Mark enjoys writing articles about many different subjects. Come and visit his latest website over at http://www.maudiomonitors.com which helps people find information about M Audio monitors and http://maudiomonitors.com/m-audio-microphone/ for information about M Audio microphones.
(ArticlesBase SC #2955585)